So it’s day… 4 of whatever plague I have. My throat feels like it’s on fire, my fever won’t stay away for longer than an hour, and my entire body feels like I’ve been beaten to a pulp. On the bright side, I’ve enjoyed some much needed time away from work, I’ve finally finished Firefly and Serenity, I watched all of the Star Wars Trilogy (the good one) for the nth time, and I’m halfway through Party Down. That being said, my Netflix top categories are now TV Sci-Fi and Fantasy, Inaginative Sci-Fi Adventure, and “Like: The Rocky Horror Picture Show” (sorry, Mom). Nerding out always did make me feel better.
So that really loud coworker of mine was at it again. She spent 15 minutes on the phone with her 27 year old daughter listing all the reasons why she should quit smoking. But according to her, she wasn’t nagging. Oh no. A few of my favorite quotes from the conversation:
”You just have to figure out what you’re attached to, THEN you will be able to quit smoking” —umm, I think the answer you’re looking for there is ‘nicotine’
“How much are you spending on cigarettes now? I bet it’s a lot. You can probably buy weed for cheaper!” —might I remind everyone that I work on a Naval base and the coworker is a government employee with clearance…
“You just gotta quit. You’ll feel better in two weeks time, I promise” —this is probably because she’ll be high all the time.
“That was just a joke, hun. Weed is just as bad for you, it’s got tons of stuff in it that will cause you cancer! Sure, it’s natural, but its all bad for you. Bad I say!” — I can’t decide between the 5 snarky remarks I want to make her, so I’ll just leave it
Am I pro-smoking? No. Am I anti-smoking? No. I could care less what people decide to do. What I do agree with is that your daughter is fucking 27. Let her live her own life! Also, read a book or two. Or even a pamphlet. Something that will at least give you a general idea of what you’re talking about.
Remember Dumb and Dumber? Remember the most annoying sound ever? Take that and amplify it. Crank it to 11, do whatever. Then imagine listening to that over and over again while someone repeatedly scratches at a sunburn on your back. THAT feeling right there would be Cloud 9 compared to the sounds my co-worker emitted all day. It wouldn’t be so bad if their bitching was actually about work, instead of whether or not Osama is really dead, and how video games are the government’s way of training our youth to prepare for the pending apocalypse. Thank goodness for 49 gigs of music I have on me. /endrant
